I got my Ipsy box and the $1.95 try-it box from Conscious Box today. Ipsy made me happy, Conscious Box made me go “WTF!”
The cute pink & white Ipsy bag contained:
Sation Nail Lacquer in Love At First Byte, a sheer peachy colour. I like it.
Big Sexy Hair Powder Play Volumizing and Texturizing Powder I don’t know about this stuff. I’m going to have to research how to use it. I assume it’s like dry shampoo only loose powder.
Be A… Bombshell Blush in Sweet Cheeks. This is a great colour for me.
Two Cosmetics Eye Shadow Duo in Heartache. Pink colours, one matte, one shimmer. I might like this.
There were only 4 products this month which is on the light side for the Ipsy bags but the last couple of months have seen less than the normal amount of products. It’s still worth the $10 I pay so it’s all good.
Next up is Conscious Box. I read on Makeup Talk board about the $1.95 try-it special so I figured I’d give it a go. What a pile of crap. For real. There’s a couple of things in here that I might use but seriously, I would never ever ever pay $20 a month for this. I assume their demographic is the earthy, crunchy, tree-hugger, vegan, vegetarian, organic, all natural, bark and twig eating types. Bleh.
Safonique Lavender Sea laundry detergent…I’ll use this.
Health Force Nutritionals Vitamineral Green 5.2…WTF? It’s some kind of powder. I have no idea what you would do with it. It says, and I’m not kidding, “Foundational, full spectrum, hard-core, alkaline, therapeutic, whole food bio-nutritive superfood complex for the entire body.” There is a list of about 30 ingredients including things like Nettle Leaf, Horsetail Sweetgrass, Amla Berry, Chlorella, BladderWrack, Alpha-Galactosidase and about 15 more. Once again I ask you…WTF?
Lafes deodorant stick…It’s one of those mineral rock deodorant things. I’ll stick with Secret Flawless.
Qspeed…this is CoQ10. 100mg. It says delicious orange-flavored tablets that dissolve in your mouth. I don’t know what CoQ10 does and I have no plans to eat this.
MRM 100% All Natural Whey in Rich Vanilla…it says it’s a dietary supplement. I say WTF.
Earthrise Spirulina Natural Green Superfood for Longevity 6 tablets (one day supply)…Let’s just say I’d rather die young than eat crap I have no clue what it is.
Organic Food Bar Chocolate Covered Active Greens…I don’t know what an active green is but hey, it’s covered in chocolate! How bad can it be? Bad. Really really really bad. It smells like dirty socks and it tastes like a combo of prunes, grass, a fuckton of brown sugar and what I imagine cow shit might taste like.
Seventh Generation Mandarin Refreshing Facial Cleansing Cloths (1 cloth)…Oooo! A brand I recognise! I’ll use these.
Totlogic Body Lotion…I assume with the name TOTlogic, it’s for kids although it says it’s “for the entire family. It’s lotion. I know what lotion is so I’ll probably use it.
Celestial Seasonings Blackberry Pomegranite Green Tea…Oooo! Another product I recognise! I’ll give this to Amber. She loves flavoured teas.
Coromega Omega 3+D Squeeze Tropical Orange…It says it supports bone, cardiovascular and immune health. Lovely. However, it’s some kind of liquid jelly type thing that you eat from a spoon. Just no. Really. No.
Peter Rabbit Organics-Banana and apple 100% pure fruit snack…I think this is some kind of puree that one drinks like a smoothy. I also think this is baby food.
Nurture Me Plump Peas Dried Organic Babyfood…I’ll give it to Chrissy. Maybe she’ll be brave enough to feed it to my grandbaby girl when she’s old enough to eat.
This box also came with 90000 flyers and literature for the products. The Health Food Nutritionals flyer makes me really want to eat straight up bacon fat and sticks of butter…at least I know what’s in that. I’d rather die than be healthy if that’s what it would take to live forever.
The Totlogic sheet lists some of its other products…Barklogic – a flea & tick product for dogs, Licelogic and Bedbuglogic. This company creeps me the fuck out. Seriously.
I would never deliberately put in my body 99% of the stuff in this box. Being healthy tastes like ass, makes you rub rocks on your underarms, feed your baby c-rations and pureed smoothies, slather yourself in lice lotion and eat unrecognisable green powder with bladderwrack in it. Oh hell no. Bring on the bacon fat. I’d rather die young, fat and happy.